The first two lines of the famous song ring true. Just a small town person living in a lonely world. The world can be a lonely place sometimes but why? As we navigate through our personal journey we sometimes feel that we are by ourselves as we accomplish even the smallest of wins. We look at our inner circle wondering if they are by our side with support or crippling themselves with jealousy. 

 

Jealousy is created in most cases by having  a victim mentality. They see themselves as a victim of the world around them. Individuals with this mindset believe that they are constantly subjected to harm or misfortune, often regardless of their circumstances. They may feel helpless, powerless, and unable to change their situations, even when opportunities for growth and change are present.

 

At its core, victim mentality involves a mindset of learned helplessness, a state where an individual feels that their actions have little to no impact on their life outcomes. It is characterized by negative self-talk, the tendency to blame others, and a deep belief that bad things are always happening to them.

 

So when we interact with these types of people, sure they may seem happy for you to your face but behind closed doors they are secretly jealous and ask themselves, “why do they always have good things happen for them, and I get nothing?”

 

Playing the victim role will yield you no results and will exhaust yourself and others around you. No one owes you anything you owe it to yourself to figure it out. Again, it’s a lonely world sometimes so it’s hard for people to do it by themselves. Even though people around them try to help they are so far in the mud it’s hard for them to get out. They are drowning in their own sorrows waiting for someone to throw in the life raft. If its a genuine person looking for nothing in return. We have to let them "sit in the mud" with us. I recently spent some time with someone who is battling cancer. This person was upbeat, happy, and just overall appreciative of life. At no point was there wasn’t any blame, any woe is me, or any finger pointing. They were just happy to have a chance at life. 

 

So what’s the difference between the two people?

 

One believes and the other doesn’t. And I’m not talking about faith. I’m talking about the perseverance they have instilled in themselves. It could have been from when they were young and how they were raised. It could have been when they were a little older and got it from school or a career. It doesn’t really matter WHEN it happened, but the fact that it actually happened. It was like a switch went off and they decided that they wanted a better life. They didn’t want to give up or let others or circumstances stand in their way. Once that happens and you live it, you can never turn off again. These people are ok being alone sometimes. That's when they find out who they are. They curtail their weaknesses by the discipline of strength they have built up in their heart and mind. 

 

I’ve heard this debate before of what’s better to have. A strong heart? or a sharp brain?

 

Well you need both to live. If you are a caring person and you help others and take care of those close to you. Your heart will grow. If you never give up and keep scratching and clawing when things go wrong. Your heart will keep getting stronger.

 

You should associate with people who have mental clarity of where they are going and maybe smarter than you. By shear biology your brain will start to consume how they think and react to the world around them. You will learn from their conversations and perceptions. Slowly your brain will start to grow with knowledge. 

 

But the brain can be funny. Unlike the heart the brain plays tricks on you. All the negative energy from other people can slip in the cracks and push positivity out. All the naysayers and ear poison can destroy a once high performing brain. We become obsessed with what they are saying and forget what we believe. 

 

Being alone sometimes has its perks. There is strength in solitude. This is where we dig into the dark corners of our brains to find the light. Only have people in your life that shine. Like they say,

 

Streetlights, people

Livin' just to find emotion

Hidin', somewhere in the night

 

Don't stop believin'

Hold on to that feelin'