Family dinners have been going on for centuries. Some are consistent, some are spontaneous. Some are traditional and some are basic. But they happen. 

 

It’s where the family comes to share. They come to share a meal that is prepared by either a mom or dad. Or some other family member. As I wrote in “Recipe of a Stepdad” there are rules in a kitchen. First, we always start with a clean kitchen and end with a clean kitchen. Second, never be afraid to try new things. Lastly, recipes are a combination of putting different things together, and always adding a little love at the end.

 

Very good lessons. In life you should never be afraid to try new things. And when people are cooking they are never doing it for themselves, it’s for others to enjoy hence that little extra love to finish it off.

 

Every family nowadays have crazy schedules. With work, school and extracurricular activities like sports or music lessons. Some ask how do we have the time to sit together? Understandably it’s a lot easier said then done, but it is a must have for a family at least a few times a week to sit for a nice home cooked meal. The dinner table is where the family communicates with each other. They talk about their days. It could be good or bad. This is where they have laughs and joke around. What if something great happened and they wanted to share it with the entire family. Don’t send it in a group text. Be old school and tell your story and watch the joy on the rest of the families face as you share your day. What if you have been afraid to ask your parents something and was waiting for the right time. Or what if you needed to open up about something that was bothering you or you needed to confess something. You’re not trying to ruin anyone’s dinner you’re just feeling comfortable talking. Why because most family’s dinner time is where you feel relaxed and enjoying each others company. The dinner table should be a place where you don’t feel alone in a conversation. You will have everyone’s attention if they are enjoying their meal. Your parents may also have things to share. It’s their open table as well. It should also be a time for a family to talk about how blessed they are. There are families in third world countries who have never sat at a table or know what a hearty meal is. They don’t have things to talk about because their lives are hanging on by a thread. I’m not trying to be rude it’s just an unfortunate truth. 

 

It doesn’t even have to be a full blown meal. Even take out is ok, just as long as you sit together and share whatever you need to share. 

 

The dinner table is also a good place to talk about the upcoming weeks. Busy people have to make plans according to schedules. What better time then to have a discussion then over a meal. 

 

Use paper to write it down. Cell phones at the dinner table or during any dinner with family or friends is inappropriate and rude. If it’s needed as part of the discussion for some reason it should come out quick and go away. The dinner table is about paying attention to who is sitting around you not the outside world. Food for thought (yes I made a funny.) If someone you are sitting with is having a bad day and you had a great day. Keep it to yourself and console the person who had a bad day. That’s what love is about. Talk about your day another time. 

 

 

In our house my dad worked for himself so it was easier I guess. But he made sure he was home everyday at 5:00pm to have dinner with us. Whether my mom cooked or it was take out, we were all together. When we were older it wasn’t as much because we all had to go off and do our thing. But I have a fond memory of one time on my dad’s birthday we had lobsters for dinner, it was a great time but I had to cut it short to go train for karate. I always felt guilty for leaving for some reason. A year later when I received my Black Belt I came home for dinner. I was limping and bruised from getting my ass kicked. With my Black Belt around my neck my dad stood up from the dinner table and gave me the biggest hug ever and said how proud he was of me. A lasting memory for sure.

 

 

A dinner doesn’t always have to be with just family. There are times you go out with your friends for a dinner. Same rules apply. It’s a place to talk about what’s going on in your lives. It’s a place to laugh and have fun. It can also be a serious conversation about what’s bothering you and you need to vent and open up. Like family, a friend will listen. 

 

 

Being Italian, a big day for a family dinner is Sunday. Sunday dinner in an Italian family is huge. Now I know other nationalities have Sunday dinners. I’m just sharing my experience as an Italian and how our Sundays were. If we didn’t eat at home we would go to our grandparents. They usually did the cooking and why not? Most likely they taught your parents how to cook so why not get it right form the sauce. (Really source, no pun intended) You would walk into their house around 2 and it would smell like heaven. There would be multiple courses. The was always pasta, some type of meat and salad. There was always too much bread that would make you feel full before you even ate. During the courses there would be so much conversation that as a kid you would try and keep up. Your grandparents would ask how you were doing in school or sports. They would be talking about adult stuff with the parents and you knew they were talking in code so you couldn’t understand. But the moment you walked in you felt loved and cared for. You felt comfortable and relaxed. You hoped Nonna would slip you a $20 or something. God forbid you said you weren’t that hungry. It was a sin in their house. And as they forced the desserts and pastry down, you felt like you were going to burst as you piled into your parent’s car to go home. Sunday dinners were special because you knew there was always extra effort put in. Whether it was at your house or other families houses. You felt like you could communicate anything you wanted to anyone.  Now I would be bullshitting if I said arguments and fights didn’t happen at the dinner table. But they were so far and few between that the happy dinners trumped them. 

 

We recently came back from a trip to Italy. Food there was a top priority. We signed up for a pizza and pasta making class. It was not what we thought but was much more. The class took place in this couple’s house. You could tell instantly a lot of memories were created there. They taught the 7 of us together how to make this huge meal from scratch. In typical Italian fashion there were many courses. Even though some of us can cook they taught us so much more. We all worked together secretly wondering what the hell we were doing. They put a lot of “love”  in their effort. When the meal was done they had us all sit down at the table and they brought us over all the courses.

We couldn’t believe how fantastic everything tasted. We were so impressed with ourselves I think we all had smiles from ear to ear. Over dinner we were sharing our favorite part of the cooking. Then we were sharing stories of the trip so far and our plans for the upcoming week. 

 

The family dinner table is that same whether you’re in Italy, your home, or your favorite restaurant. It’s the communication that happens. It where you learn about each other. It’s a good way to keep an eye on your children to let them know you care and that you are there for them. A lot of times children distance themselves as they get older. We as parents have to make sure they are safe and growing as they should. If something isn’t right it will come out over the dinner table. Families will go through many ups and downs as the years past. The best place where the rollercoaster stops is at the dinner table. With your full belly and your full heart.